Changing Seasons

Autumn.... I love Autumn! I love the colors, the smells, the pumpkins the apples and cider. I love the hay rides, the haunted houses, trick or treaters and this year......most importantly the birth of our Daughter!

A friend of mine wrote this piece about Autumn that is elegantly and beautifully written....I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

The Change.

"...Please don’t misunderstand. I love our change of seasons and pity the regions that don’t experience it. I love the sights and smells of fall. There is the perfume mother nature provides that is intoxicating. That “peat” smell that you only get when fallen leaves begin to decay combine that with a wisp of wood smoke in the air and the aroma is sweeter than that of a rose. When the foliage begins to turn red, yellow and rust….It can be so beautiful that it is indescribable and you don’t ever want to lose that moment in time. It nearly hurts your eyes. Breezes feel cooler and get stronger. Animals are scurrying about to prepare for what they know is coming. There is wood to split, canning jars to put up and heavier clothing to locate and prepare for regular use..."

Silent Night

As I sit on the couch by a lighted Christmas tree and a 90 lb furry child I am reminded of how much I need to slow down and enjoy the time I am given.

      December....I like to call it crazy month. The month in which you barley have time to sit down and just BREATH! Christmas parties, family gatherings, shopping...it hits you like a ton of bricks. It is easy to get caught up in the "holiday spirit" and miss the beautiful silence  that also comes with this month.
     Yet, it is the same story is it not? I mean, in Bethlehem when Cezar Augusts declared that  a census be taken, thousands traveled to their home towns seeking rooms to sleep in while they registered their family names. So many in fact that there was no room, no vacancies.  I bet the markets were filled with merchants selling their finest products, food being cooked and ready to be sold. I'm sure there were reunions as many family members moved to different cities now gathering in their home towns. Can you imagine the commotion, the chaos? Livestock filling the streets while owners ducked into the local taverns for a drink.  Roman soldiers roaming the streets finding any excuse to make the Jewish citizen's life a living nightmare. Can you picture it?
     Stillness, shepherds tending their sheep.   They were probably about to go to sleep and the heavens opened and the news was proclaimed. Stillness, and while following a silent star the good news was made known in their hearts. Amongst the madness, quietly the great news was made known. He has come, He is here.
     We may not have livestock roaming our streets or soldiers looking for fights, but it is still the same. Regardless if you believe our savior was born in December or April, the message is still the same. God, in all his Glory came to us, came into a world that was and still is chaotic. He broke through the busyness of this world to deliver great Joy that is to be for all people.
       In the stillness of a manger he whispered to us "behold I give you your savior who will free you from sin, who will be a living example, who will prepare the way for you, who will stand in your spot".

 I bet if we sit still long enough...we too will hear Him say... Behold Here He Is!

Limitations

Limitations

2 Corinthians

“We are Limited beings and in our limitations we allow our fear to overflow our being.” -Papa in The Shack.

      Limitations, this word as well as its meaning has become my number one enemy. His relatives, pain, anger and bitterness are close behind and not helpful when seeking forgiveness, healing and love in all its forms.

      I've grown to hate that word, Limitation. To me it means weakness, worthless, failure and any other negative word that pops into my head. However, recently its brought a new meaning. A meaning that has never really been accepted, at least by me. Maybe it was because it was too painful and for some reason I did not fully understood the meaning.

      I have found that even though I have limitations, the limitation does not always have to be negative. Childish thinking, I know, but truth non-the-less. Many think that limitations are negative but on the contrary, it is necessary for “Papa” to plant, grow and harvest his plan for our benefits and lives, and shape us into who He wants us to be. With out limitations and feeling of loss, we could not begin to understand the feeling of great gain, the feeling of deep peace and the joy of finding Love that has never left us.

© Cassandra Packer 2009

Just a thought

As I grow deeper in my relationship with my significant other, I am starting to think more and more about what its like being believers in God as a couple. He being a somewhat new Christian is exciting, but at the same time challenging.  I seem to know all the stories of the bible inside and out and some of the deeper things, where as he is at the "Bible 101" stage yet, which is actually really cool to watch.
      When he finds out new things about scripture, it's like watching a kid on Christmas day sometimes. His eye light up and has that "a ha" moment! I sometimes wonder if that is what I looked like when I discovered something new (to me) about God. Its actually a really great moment that I get to experience, but this leads me to my next question... As we join together (which will be happening very soon :)  ) is it important to maintain an individual relationship with God as well as growing together in God.
      All my life, through 16 years of christian schooling, 30 years of church, and being raised in a christian home, I've been taught that having a personal relationship with Christ/God is vital.  So when you get married does that stop (the personal relationship)? If your husband or wife cannot make it to church with you, do you not go?
      I realize its a very personal question.  However, to me sometimes I feel that not going to church can sometimes hinder your growth...  I don't know...
     I know that my parents have demonstrated the opposite.  If one of them cannot go because of health issues or working the other does go.  They still have their personal relationship that they want to maintain. If my mom was sick in bed, my dad would still get up and go to church and vise versa. One of my good friends husband is away A LOT for work, yet she doesn't stop going to church because he cannot make it or if he's sick or other way around.
     I guess I answered my own question, ha.  For me, I like that we can have an personal relationship and not have to always go to church together. I do understand that going to church together promotes growth between couples in God, but I like that Tim is willing to get up and go to church (or watch the sermon live from home) without me. I feel that his personal growth is important and I see him taking steps to nourish that growth.

This probably doesn't make sense but writing it all out, I am understanding my confusion/question a little bit more....

Christmas Past

Many People have many different Christmas experiences. And sometimes its easy to forget the childhood memories of that magical day, and days leading up to Christmas eve. For the first time in my life, I have someone VERY special to share one of my favorite holidays with. Maybe he inspires me to remember my sweet childhood Christmas's my parents gave to me. So here are the things I remember, in pictures. I hope they will jog your memories of your favorite Christmas memories! 

 

Its a Charlie Brown Christmas! I remember watching this on TV and listening to the story and songs on my record player!

My mom and I (I don't remember if my brothers participated) decorating Christmas cookies.  I remember that not many were left to share with the family though, after we were finally done frosting them.

In the later years of my childhood I remember Dad setting up the Christmas village my mom had. The Dickens Village became a marvel at our house, with a train to travel around and around the village!

Sometimes we would have our Christmas Tree down stairs in our finished basement. We had a fire place down there and I loved sitting by it opening gifts.

These were THE BEST and still is the BEST Classic Christmas cartoons EVER! I still watch them to this day! I would sit and watch and re-watch these shows all night long.

My Mom would shop every year for the perfect wreath! She did this for ever holiday! She is very classy so the wreaths always look great!

We went to church every Sunday, but I loved going to church on Christmas. Maybe it was because I got to see all the people dress in frilly dresses. Or maybe it was because I was mesmerized by all the candles in the church windows. Whatever the case, I loved it.

This movie holds special meaning to me. I love this movie to this day. But it was special because when watching with my Dad, I got to hear his gut wrenching laughter.  I love to listen to my Dad laugh!

I attended Ada Christen School when I was little. Each year around Christmas they would hold a festival ( I think it was a festival) , in which we could play games for prizes or just by things for our families for Christmas.  I remember being SO excited to get my brothers Slap Bracelets. They were so happy to get them (though I think it was just to show they were just humoring me). 

I use to believe in this Jolly old man, but I do remember the day I realized that Santa might be a man called Dad...I fell asleep in front to the Tree with my dog Mackenzie and his tale started thumping, signaling my dad putting presents under the tree....needless to say, I woke up and hello Dad! 

Family! It was all about family. I am 12 years younger than Jeremy, my oldest brother.  He would come home from college for the Holidays, I loved seeing him home...on Christmas Day...We would go over to my Aunts house and there were always fun times to be had!

It was and is always about Jesus! Mom had a Nativity scene. I would play with it at the table, until I broke the wise mans head off.....I couldn't play with it anymore....lol.

The Pickle Tree: a great and fun game that we play with my extended family, over the years it has become a family competition. Over the years many have joined and rules like, no stepping on people, pushing or especially touching the tree while looking have been set in place......because the Tree WILL fall over...oops! 

There is much more, but these came to mind.....I love Holidays!  

foot steps

The pathway has been worn down by my constant pacing these past few nights.  My mind is reeling and doesn't seem to stop. God has seem distant when it comes to certain issues in my life, or maybe I have been so loud I can't hear God speak.  Whatever the case, its not good.  I pray for peace, but it doesn't seem to let up, I try to make the right choices, and they seem to keep me in one place, and I feel utterly stuck.

The medication is certainly helping with my anxiety, however it just clams me down, and sometimes puts me to sleep, but I know that when I wake up they will be there.  I'm tired of running, but at the same time when I turn to face one issue, any choice I make seems to be the wrong one.  I go to prayer and God seems to like to take things slow, which upsets me more and I panic more. I know He is teaching me a lesson, but frankly He needs to hurry up. Though the things He has moved on are GREATLY appreciated and powerful, I guess I just wish things could be set like some other peoples lives I know.

I seek comfort more and more with objects from my childhood which is ironic because things with family have been so twisted.  My parents and I are not speaking to each other because of a big fight, school has been a stress and finding ways of how I'm going to pay, where I'm going to live day to day, money to buy food, even the stress of buying gas. Thank GOD litterly for Krista and Andy who have been more then kind to open their home up to me, but something has to be done, and everything I had tired is not working....sigh.


Speaking of Andy and Krista, I LOVE them to death! Andy has been sooo good with me staying here...lol...he just now scared the crap out of me and got his kicks for the night (the punk). And the kids, they can be a handful, and despite my tiredness and annoyance some times, I wouldn't have it any other way! THEY ARE AWESOME! love those little monsters to death!

God is good, and wants good things for his children, even if that takes a while and some hurdles to overcome, I'm learning though....right?

Miss

I miss him, and I know I'll never talk to him again......why does there have to be days or nights like this.....